Relationship Advice On Forgiveness
Look. In life, stuff happens. In relationships, stuff definitely happens. Sometimes we do things wrong. Sometimes our mates do things wrong. But here's where a big problem comes in, and that's when, sometimes, we can't let go of what we or our mate has done wrong.
We can recycle an upset in our heads a hundred times, thinking they shouldn't have done that, we should have said that, etc. If we can't let it go, it can create even bigger relationship problems.
This is where forgiveness becomes an essential tool in our relationship toolkit. Forgiveness is a must for keeping relationships from growing apart. It is a must for keeping us in love instead of out of love.
How do you forgive? How do you let things go and move back to love and appreciation? How do you do this when what they said or did keeps blaring through your mind and soul? How do you forgive when you are so angry or hurt or irritated?
Forgiveness takes practice, like any skill. One way to get into the practice is to try not taking things personally.
What does this mean? It means that when they were rude or when they were unthoughtful or when they yelled at you that it is about them, not about you. They are trying, like all of us, to do the best they can. And, like all of us, they get frustrated and upset and irritable about things from time to time. And sometimes, they will vent or release that frustration all over you. You just happened to be there!
If you start to consider that it wasn't about you, even though they yelled at you, then you can begin to have room to let it go. Learning to let go is the key to forgiveness. Whatever you have to do to do that is the skill you want to practice. They were rude to you happened. But how you respond, how long you carry around your anger or hurt, is up to you. You can let go of your anger with a little practice.
The thing is, if you don't forgive, it hurts you. All those angry and hurtful thoughts you have are just poison in your own system. They are damaging the relationship. Practice letting go of bad things and forgiving and it will help you and your relationship to thrive.
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